Friday, April 12, 2013

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Religion

When I was 14: I used to love the religious diversity because it meant a higher number of holidays in school. Number of religions was directly proportional to the number of holidays.

When I was 17: I took part in an inter-school debate in the favor of the topic, “Religious Diversity plays an important role in keeping India United!”

When I’m 20:  I do realize how naive I was, and that I’ve grown up. The thing that worries me is that the world didn’t grow up with me; that the world is still trapped in its illogical faith.

“Religion is like a PENIS: It’s okay to have it. It’s okay to be proud of it. But it’s not okay to wave it around in public or to shove it down people’s throats!” - Anonymous

What? Are your feelings hurt? Okay, I’ll define it in other words.

“Religion is like Circumcision. If you wait until someone is 21 to tell them about it, they probably wouldn’t be interested.”

Really, religion is the best thing that the man has ‘created’ for the sake of power. Religion is so damn serene and peaceful, that it has to use violence to prove those people wrong, who accuse it of being violent.

Now let me explain what ‘religion’ is, in very simple terms. Everyone has a religion. My religion is LITERATURE. My gods and idols are numerous like Dumbledore, Gandalf, Howard Roark, Professor Morrie, and Sherlock Holmes to name a few. The only ‘Messengers’ I believe in are authors like John Green, Markus Zusak, Ayn Rand, Dan Brown etc.

My religion DOES NOT ask me to follow any certain set of rules (It doesn’t matter whether those rules are beneficial or harmful for me). It doesn’t prohibit me from following other religions like Music or Painting. It doesn’t force me to read fantasy, young adult, erotic thriller, or classics. Dumbledore never said that following Gandalf would mean blasphemy towards him.

Now allow me to take you through a journey of, my dream destination, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I hope to make you all understand the real meaning of religion through the world of Harry Potter.

….Voldemort is dominating the world. He IS the religion- Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Jainism etc. He is in full power, creating havoc, despite the efforts of Dumbledore. Dumbledore is the epitome of love and is fighting hard with his little army.

To ensure his immortality and perpetual reign of power, Voldemort has torn apart his soul into six different parts and created the Horcruxes. His different Horcruxes are:

1. Book: Koran/Bible/Puranas. Textual commands written with ‘Imperio’ spell. It causes the victims (readers/believers) of the curse to follow the commands of the lord.

2. Ring: Astrology and faith.  Uses the ‘Expelliarmus’ spell. It disarms the victim of his rational self. It uses hocus-pocus to serve its purpose.

3. Locket: Works on the ‘Obliviate’ or memory charm. It defiles the memory and thinking of the victim. Used in preparing terrorists, religious fanatics, and delusional followers.

4. Cup: Originally used as a dining utensil, this was defiled by Voldemort. It keeps tabs on what people can eat, and what is ‘haram’. Those who don’t follow these prohibitions are sent directly to hell for eternal burning. It also releases various ‘Fatwas’ to keep people under control.

5. Nagini: Most protected and harmful horcrux- can take forms of Mosque, Temple, Church, Gurudwara etc. This institutionalizing concept is pure business, aimed at feeding the nagini and spreading the vicious circle of Voldemort.

6. Diadem: It manifests the harmful effects of Dark power. The original carving of the diadem has been modified from, “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure” to “Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has”. It works on the ‘Crucio’ spell and inflicts unbearable pain on the victim, who demands reason.

7. Harry:  A part of the soul of the Dark Lord is hidden inside every Harry, which is germinated with religious indoctrination. It doesn’t allow us to doubt anything about the lord, prohibits any questions, and forces us to believe in the shit that religion preaches, i.e. ‘A free thinker is satan’s slave’.  All of us have to destroy this horcrux first.

Voldemort hates Dumbledore, and perceives him as the biggest threat to his power, because-

1) Dumbledore is Gay: He doesn’t follow the orders of the Dark Lord, specified in the Horcruxes of Bible and Koran.

2) He is a Muggle-lover: He doesn’t follow the discriminating ‘Caste-system’ of Dark Lord. There are no Brahmins-Dalits, Catholic-Protestants, or Shia-Sunni for him.

3) He respects women:  He neither creates any ‘hijab’ for women nor restricts them from becoming priests/popes in churches. He doesn’t believe in the practice of ‘Sati-pratha’. He doesn’t create derogatory rules and regulations for women.

4) He is not afraid of the Dark Lord: He doesn’t believe in the ‘Judgment day’. He neither desires for the 72 virgins nor fears the wrath of the Lord.

Draco Malfoy: He is the perfect example of victims of (Religious) child abuse. Persons like him are beguiled of reason, right from the childhood. Their parents, elders, and the society abuse them with their religious indoctrination. They are deprived of the most critical aspect of one’s growth- the science of having doubts and raising questions. With time, they become just like their indoctrinators and no one can reason with them. [Sadly, some of my friends do fall in this category]. You need a Dumbledore to protect them.

Death Eaters: The messengers and most faithful supporters of Voldemort. Their sole aim is to spread his reign and kill and torture people for their own profit. Some of the prominent ones are- Zakir ‘khal’Naik, , Nir’mal’ baba, Paul ‘moneybhai’ Dhinakaran, Politicians like Akbaruddin ‘mental’ Owaisi, Praveen ‘bakbak’ Togadiya etc. 

They also form organizations and create havoc. Ex- Darool Uloom Deoband, Bajrang Dal, Khalistanis, Khaaps, Taliban etc. They ultimately use the death spell, ‘Avada Kedavra’ on the victims.

Dementors: Their sole purpose of existence is sucking out all the happy feelings and memories from you, feed on them, and then make yourself guilty for it. Various dementors include- Popes, Priests, Muftis, Mullas etc…

Harry Potter: Every one of us is a Harry Potter. We have parts of souls of all the ‘characters’ in us. I’m Hermione as I’m a bibliophile, and when I’m in doubt, I go to the library. I’m Ron as I have perpetual hunger for delicious food, and that I do feel insecure at times. I’m Fred and George as I only have humor and sarcasm as my faithful companions. And the list goes on. However, the problem is, we should be able to express these ‘souls’, rather than the ‘Inferi’ made out of us by the religion. It is difficult, but not impossible. As Dumbledore says, ‘happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light!’

Now for those people whose sentiments are hurt by this post, who are feeling offended and looking for sympathy- well, you will find sympathy in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis.

And just to clear my stand to some nincompoops: I’m a ‘rational’ theist. I believe in god; it’s just that I don’t believe in people, who talk about god. Confused? Well, I believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I’m told, and not in religion, which is doing what I’m told regardless of what is right. I believe that my religion i.e. literature is better than the common (ab)normal religions, because at least my religion accepts that it’s based on fictional stories, and doesn’t force me to buy it, unlike the ‘sky-daddies’ of those religions. What people should really understand is that killing for peace, is just like screwing for chastity!

Well, we all know what happened after the battle of Hogwarts. Harry did win, but after losing many friends and family members. I just hope that we will not have to lose any more friends because of this Voldemort. Hundreds of thousands of people have already suffered and died, in the hands of the religion. We can’t afford to add more to this list.

I rest my case, with this quote of Dumbledore- “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.’