Friday, April 12, 2013

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Religion

When I was 14: I used to love the religious diversity because it meant a higher number of holidays in school. Number of religions was directly proportional to the number of holidays.

When I was 17: I took part in an inter-school debate in the favor of the topic, “Religious Diversity plays an important role in keeping India United!”

When I’m 20:  I do realize how naive I was, and that I’ve grown up. The thing that worries me is that the world didn’t grow up with me; that the world is still trapped in its illogical faith.

“Religion is like a PENIS: It’s okay to have it. It’s okay to be proud of it. But it’s not okay to wave it around in public or to shove it down people’s throats!” - Anonymous

What? Are your feelings hurt? Okay, I’ll define it in other words.

“Religion is like Circumcision. If you wait until someone is 21 to tell them about it, they probably wouldn’t be interested.”

Really, religion is the best thing that the man has ‘created’ for the sake of power. Religion is so damn serene and peaceful, that it has to use violence to prove those people wrong, who accuse it of being violent.

Now let me explain what ‘religion’ is, in very simple terms. Everyone has a religion. My religion is LITERATURE. My gods and idols are numerous like Dumbledore, Gandalf, Howard Roark, Professor Morrie, and Sherlock Holmes to name a few. The only ‘Messengers’ I believe in are authors like John Green, Markus Zusak, Ayn Rand, Dan Brown etc.

My religion DOES NOT ask me to follow any certain set of rules (It doesn’t matter whether those rules are beneficial or harmful for me). It doesn’t prohibit me from following other religions like Music or Painting. It doesn’t force me to read fantasy, young adult, erotic thriller, or classics. Dumbledore never said that following Gandalf would mean blasphemy towards him.

Now allow me to take you through a journey of, my dream destination, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I hope to make you all understand the real meaning of religion through the world of Harry Potter.

….Voldemort is dominating the world. He IS the religion- Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Jainism etc. He is in full power, creating havoc, despite the efforts of Dumbledore. Dumbledore is the epitome of love and is fighting hard with his little army.

To ensure his immortality and perpetual reign of power, Voldemort has torn apart his soul into six different parts and created the Horcruxes. His different Horcruxes are:

1. Book: Koran/Bible/Puranas. Textual commands written with ‘Imperio’ spell. It causes the victims (readers/believers) of the curse to follow the commands of the lord.

2. Ring: Astrology and faith.  Uses the ‘Expelliarmus’ spell. It disarms the victim of his rational self. It uses hocus-pocus to serve its purpose.

3. Locket: Works on the ‘Obliviate’ or memory charm. It defiles the memory and thinking of the victim. Used in preparing terrorists, religious fanatics, and delusional followers.

4. Cup: Originally used as a dining utensil, this was defiled by Voldemort. It keeps tabs on what people can eat, and what is ‘haram’. Those who don’t follow these prohibitions are sent directly to hell for eternal burning. It also releases various ‘Fatwas’ to keep people under control.

5. Nagini: Most protected and harmful horcrux- can take forms of Mosque, Temple, Church, Gurudwara etc. This institutionalizing concept is pure business, aimed at feeding the nagini and spreading the vicious circle of Voldemort.

6. Diadem: It manifests the harmful effects of Dark power. The original carving of the diadem has been modified from, “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure” to “Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has”. It works on the ‘Crucio’ spell and inflicts unbearable pain on the victim, who demands reason.

7. Harry:  A part of the soul of the Dark Lord is hidden inside every Harry, which is germinated with religious indoctrination. It doesn’t allow us to doubt anything about the lord, prohibits any questions, and forces us to believe in the shit that religion preaches, i.e. ‘A free thinker is satan’s slave’.  All of us have to destroy this horcrux first.

Voldemort hates Dumbledore, and perceives him as the biggest threat to his power, because-

1) Dumbledore is Gay: He doesn’t follow the orders of the Dark Lord, specified in the Horcruxes of Bible and Koran.

2) He is a Muggle-lover: He doesn’t follow the discriminating ‘Caste-system’ of Dark Lord. There are no Brahmins-Dalits, Catholic-Protestants, or Shia-Sunni for him.

3) He respects women:  He neither creates any ‘hijab’ for women nor restricts them from becoming priests/popes in churches. He doesn’t believe in the practice of ‘Sati-pratha’. He doesn’t create derogatory rules and regulations for women.

4) He is not afraid of the Dark Lord: He doesn’t believe in the ‘Judgment day’. He neither desires for the 72 virgins nor fears the wrath of the Lord.

Draco Malfoy: He is the perfect example of victims of (Religious) child abuse. Persons like him are beguiled of reason, right from the childhood. Their parents, elders, and the society abuse them with their religious indoctrination. They are deprived of the most critical aspect of one’s growth- the science of having doubts and raising questions. With time, they become just like their indoctrinators and no one can reason with them. [Sadly, some of my friends do fall in this category]. You need a Dumbledore to protect them.

Death Eaters: The messengers and most faithful supporters of Voldemort. Their sole aim is to spread his reign and kill and torture people for their own profit. Some of the prominent ones are- Zakir ‘khal’Naik, , Nir’mal’ baba, Paul ‘moneybhai’ Dhinakaran, Politicians like Akbaruddin ‘mental’ Owaisi, Praveen ‘bakbak’ Togadiya etc. 

They also form organizations and create havoc. Ex- Darool Uloom Deoband, Bajrang Dal, Khalistanis, Khaaps, Taliban etc. They ultimately use the death spell, ‘Avada Kedavra’ on the victims.

Dementors: Their sole purpose of existence is sucking out all the happy feelings and memories from you, feed on them, and then make yourself guilty for it. Various dementors include- Popes, Priests, Muftis, Mullas etc…

Harry Potter: Every one of us is a Harry Potter. We have parts of souls of all the ‘characters’ in us. I’m Hermione as I’m a bibliophile, and when I’m in doubt, I go to the library. I’m Ron as I have perpetual hunger for delicious food, and that I do feel insecure at times. I’m Fred and George as I only have humor and sarcasm as my faithful companions. And the list goes on. However, the problem is, we should be able to express these ‘souls’, rather than the ‘Inferi’ made out of us by the religion. It is difficult, but not impossible. As Dumbledore says, ‘happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light!’

Now for those people whose sentiments are hurt by this post, who are feeling offended and looking for sympathy- well, you will find sympathy in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis.

And just to clear my stand to some nincompoops: I’m a ‘rational’ theist. I believe in god; it’s just that I don’t believe in people, who talk about god. Confused? Well, I believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I’m told, and not in religion, which is doing what I’m told regardless of what is right. I believe that my religion i.e. literature is better than the common (ab)normal religions, because at least my religion accepts that it’s based on fictional stories, and doesn’t force me to buy it, unlike the ‘sky-daddies’ of those religions. What people should really understand is that killing for peace, is just like screwing for chastity!

Well, we all know what happened after the battle of Hogwarts. Harry did win, but after losing many friends and family members. I just hope that we will not have to lose any more friends because of this Voldemort. Hundreds of thousands of people have already suffered and died, in the hands of the religion. We can’t afford to add more to this list.

I rest my case, with this quote of Dumbledore- “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.’

Friday, March 29, 2013

MunnaBhai Gets Jaadu ka Jhappad

DISCLAIMER: All names and ideas used are real. If this article hurts the sentiments of some people, it is meant to be.

Recently High Court gave the verdict on 1993 Mumbai Bomb Blasts and sentenced Actor Sanjay Dutt, better known as Munna bhai, to 5 years imprisonment, under the Illegal Arms Act. This has created hullabaloo in the Political and Bollywood fraternity.

The two major political alliances, UPA [Useless Pernicious Alliance] and NDA [National Derogatory Alliance], organize a meeting. Some representatives of Bollywood also attend the meeting.

'Italiano’ Gandhi puts forward the agenda of the meeting. She says, “This is dangerous. We can’t let this happen. We are above the petty judiciary and laws. Politicians and Celebrities should never be punished. If Munna is sentenced to prison, then it will just be a beginning. We all will go down under…”

‘Amul-Munna’ Gandhi- (interrupts in between) - “...But Mommy, you only said that Power is poison. Why would I be sentenced even after this philanthropic act of consuming poison?”

‘Italiano’ G- “I’m referring to Munnabhai, not you baby. You just keep folding your sleeves and enjoy your bournvita. You really need it.

‘Maakad’ ‘Sir-me-ju’: Now, I need all of you to come up with some ideas for obtaining clemency for Munna. I’ll write useless and crap letters to everyone in my 90% list, asking them to pardon Munna. After all, I can’t afford to be away from the Limelight. So, should we start with you Diggi babu?”

'Pig’vijay Singh- We should use our trump card- Youth. He was so young when he committed this crime. At 33, our own munna baby couldn’t even spell Goa.

Balwan Khur’shit’- Why to include our Yuvraj’s name? I think we should go with the idea that our madam cried all night after hearing this judgement. Those who don’t believe this should come to khur-shit-abad, and confront me. I dare them.

‘Sust-Bimaar’ Shinde- This is not a game of truth and dare, ballu. I guess, we should blame the Hindu terrorists for manipulating Munna. We can also use Secularism to display that his father showed sympathy towards Muslims, and so he is being targeted.

‘Maya’ ‘Reserve’wati –. I think we should follow the principle of my BSP (Building-only Structures Party). We should build large structures of Munna all across the country. People will see them, remember his contribution to Indian cinema, and will support us.

Soft ‘Chameleon’ Yadav- This will take too much time, Behenji. We should go with the policy of my SP (Showbiz Party). We should create a team of film stars, especially from the Minority community, who will do special interviews with media, in support of Munna. We would also give some lucky spectators free laptops.

‘Ek-hi-chiz-Har-Bar’ Vishwas - Good Idea, Netaji. I will also perform with my cliché poems. This time, I have even written three new lines..!!

Raj ‘Todfod’ Thakrey- ‘Shetkhana band kar re gaadhava!’ I will allow this in Mumbai only when all the performances are done in Marathi. Also, Marathi should be the default language in the laptops when they are used in Mumbai. Netaji, you can easily do this as you already use special software in such laptops.

‘Italiano’ G - Okay. We will think about this idea. Let us hear some other ideas first.

Sheela ‘Dick’shit- We should announce that Munna will give 600 rupees to a certain number of families in some cities, every month, for continuous 5 years. This would be a big help as a family of five can survive in that amount for a whole month. Also, Montek ‘Aaloo’walia supports me on this.

Arvind ‘Khujli’wal- It will be better if he provides electricity to people, rather than mere money. In my view, we all should go on a hunger strike and threaten the judges every other day that we will expose them. It always works.

[Everyone laughs.]

‘Bhaiya’ Kamal R Khan- I have an idea. Let’s take inspiration from ‘Lage raho Munnabhai’ movie. I will build temporary residence outside High court and protest against this judgement. Then every alternate day, one of my relatives will keep visiting me, and eventually, build their own residence. Then you all can follow the same procedure. Soon we’ll be strong in numbers and can conveniently protest.

Ramu ‘Bhutiya’ Verma- Ha-ha, is this inspiration from the movie, or the real life, KRK? This is not Mumbai! Your idea sucks just like my recent movies. I have a much better idea. We should make the Judges watch ‘Ramu ki Aag’ and ‘Raavan’ back to back. And if even then they don’t change their decision, we can always use Karan Johar’s flicks.

[Some people murmur and show their support for this idea.]

‘Italiano’ G- I’m impressed, Ramu. I’ll order special ‘Awkward-angle’ cameras for you from Italy.

[Suddenly, our beloved Sallu ‘NotBeingHuman’ Khan enters in the room. He is drunk.]

Sallu- Sorry yaaron, I’m late. I told that lousy director that I can’t do acting; I just follow my mannerism. He didn’t understand and, to assuage my anger, I got drunk. You know while I was coming here, I had a small accident. My Hummer got on to a footpath and killed some bastards. Why you people build such bad roads?

[People start whispering. Dabang convinces everyone that he is in a fine fettle.]

Sallu- Yeah, I’m all right, but the front part of the Hummer got screwed. Well, I have a great idea, and it has been very successful in my case. We should start some NGO in Sanju baba’s name and do a bit of charity here and there. Indians are emotional fools. When they see charity and their stars/idols together, they forget everything else.

‘Mand’mohan Singh- THEEK h.

[Everyone starts applauding. Meeting ends.]

PS: When Munnabhai came to know about this, he called Sallu and dismissed this idea. He said that he knew the best idea. He would do the only thing he is best at- acting. He will cry a lot, will not ask for clemency, and gain the most important aspect of this country - sympathy.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Date A Girl Who Reads

This is not written by me. I came across this post on a Literary page on Facebook and I thought this is worth much more than just sharing on FB.
I must say this is like something coming straight from my heart. I really hope that there are such beautiful, bibliophile ladies out there.  I hope to find the one meant for me too!
[ Maybe she is reading this right now! ;)]

"You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."
— Rosemarie UrquicoK

Friday, August 31, 2012

The Unplugged Memories - Do Kamine Dost

Though it’s difficult, but sometimes it’s better to shed tears on the pages, in the form of the words because words are immortal. I know it feels so artificial in making ‘sad’ smiley…but still….

“Tere Jaisa Yaar Kahan….Kahan aesa Yaarana….Yaad rakhegi Duniya…Tera Mera Afsaana…”

Today I’m writing, Or rather spitting out my emotions because I’ve lost something in my life…and that something is more precious than anything I can hope for. I have lost my best buddy SAGAR TOMAR, a medical student, who died in a road accident recently. I’m numb and I’m not sure whether I would be able to write anything legible.

My father woke me up in the morning with this shocking news that appeared in the newspaper and it has been the worst morning of my life. This is the first time that I’ve lost someone close to me and in almost 20 years of my life, for the first time I’m feeling that I’ve grown up. That it’s only the beginning and life is not that wonderful as it seemed to me.  

Well, to begin with, we met some 5 years ago in a birthday party of a mutual friend Mufid who then introduced us. There was nothing special in that meeting and we just exchanged our contact numbers. The real friendship began with the use of the Mittal-Ambani connections, just like any other love story. All those messages, specially the non-veg stuff, acted as the adjuvant in our bonding and fueling up our BROMANCE.

This journey from being two complete strangers to the famous [or, infamous] ‘Bakchod pair’ was just awesome. There are too many memories of our bakchodi to include here but I’ll include a few. I will always cherish the time we spent during the coaching classes, be it ‘Daswani’ or ‘Brainmasters’.
Even now I can’t believe that we never attended a single chemistry class in the whole year, and ‘Mugs’ was our classroom for that one hour every single day..!! And our notes were of course ‘bake samosa’ and ‘cold coffee’. And our ‘Petrol pump cafe’ was the best outlet ever created for a cup of coffee. [Screw the CCD’s..!]. Even now when I own a bike, I haven’t spent that much time in the petrol pumps…. I loved the moments when I made the nuisances and Bhatia sir always accused you for it….Lapak k lagti thi teri to tab…!

The one thing that irritated me was your obsession with tea, or ‘Chai’…! Jab bhi aata tha, saala chai zarur lagti thi teko…!! Aur hazi-mazak ki to chalti firti dukan tha tu kamine…, NV-bakbak ka specialist…!!

And what to say about the ketchup and Maggie….I doubt even Javed Jaffrey wouldn’t have had that amount of ketchup as we had. I remember that ‘ketchup drinking’ bet we won in McDonalds..! And Maggie….Alas..! All those late hours Maggie-parties during our night outs at your flat or at my house along with Mahesh. Maggie drowning in the sea of ketchup….

How can I ever forget our trips and tours….! Tuffry, Shell city, Isckon temple har jagah to ghum fir kr aaye apan…and one thing I have to admit…ki Har jagah teri koi na koi pehchan nikal hi jati thi…! Ek no. ka ghumakkad that u bhi…!!
The most vivid memory I have is of your flat. What great ‘Kaands’ we did there…! That flat was the witness of many of my ‘experiences’..!! Sometimes I think I utilized your flat more than you ever did…!       I clearly remember that hullabaloo which our group caused in your flat, because of which that landlord of yours barged in the flat, and some of us narrowly escaped by hiding in the bathroom...! Your flat was the place of refuge for me…Just sitting there idly was one of the best comforts of my life…

I know we had many nasty differences too….You mocked me for loving and reading novels…while I used to pull your leg for being crazy about ‘Branded clothes’….which also reminds me of that ‘branded’ shirt you gifted me when I was shopping for my birthday…! And how can I ever forget that Sexy birthday-card you gave me, after searching in literally every shop…! It is the best card I have ever received..!! Also your Handwriting on that card....'Calligraphy' to kuch jyada hi sikh li thi tune saale...!!

And Movies…!! Well, I know I have seen almost 80% of the movies with you…Many times other members of our group used to drop the plan due to one or the other reasons…but still we both used to go ahead with the plan and watch the movies….And if the movie was boring, then it was literally our aim to entertain the audience with our commentary…!! Aur ek din me sirf ek movie dekhna to jaise apan ne kabhi sikha hi nahi tha….har bar 2 movies dekhte the back to back…!!

Meri takkar ka Bhukkad to aaj tak mujhe sirf ek hi mila h….tu hi wo namuna tha jo mujhe bhukkadpanti me competition de sakta tha…. Non-veg khane k liye to jaise pagal the apan….’Madni’, ‘Nafees’, ‘Saifee’, ‘Pishori’ har jagah apan muh maar kar aate the….Indore ka koi dhaba ya restaurant nahi cchoda tha…

PARTY…! Yahi wo word tha jo sabse jyada bola jata tha apne bich…{except for the slangs}….New bike ho ya new relationship….mom ka promotion ho ya exam ka result…every damn thing demanded a party…saala girlfriend se breakup ki tak party deni padti thi…!! Now to I can’t even remember kispe kitni parties pending thi…!

And of course how can I forget that you and Mahesh were the ones who taught me to ride the bike…! Wo Stunner pe jo tumne sikhaya tha, usi wajah se to aaj apni Fazer khadi h…! Aur teri wo fokat ki bol-bachan to alag hi hote the….like, ‘Kya smile deta rehta h aur daant dikhata h photo khinchate time….Beta thoda attitude dikhaya kar…!’

Jab mujhe tere accident k bare me pata chala tab se sirf tera wo dialogue hi dimag me ghum raha h….jo tune pravachan dete time bola tha, jab mera accident hua tha….u said that, “Beta…jyada conscious hokar bhi drive karne ki zarurat nahi h….teri galti nahi thi fir bhi thuk hi gya na…tu to mast hokar fast drive kar…jis din accident hona hoga na..hokar hi rahega…tab tera helmet bhi kuch nahi kar paega…” If only I could get a chance to give pravachan to you today…but tu to direct kalti hi kha gaya be….

Wapas aaja be kamine….Dadi ne teri favorite ‘Chai’ bana k rakhi h….Abhi to kitni gandh machani thi be apne ko is duniya mein….apan ne jo future plans banaye the unhe bhi to pura karna tha na….Apne khud k ‘Petrol Pumps’ kholne the….And what about our ‘Incredible India’ target….saale tere bina to ab ghanta mood hoga kuch karne ka…Jab tu hi nahi hoga to mein kiske sath apne ‘No. of Hits’ compare karunga…! Tu sirf 2 no. hi to aage tha mujhse… Dher saare kaand karne the abhi to tere flat pe…..We even planned of visiting Goa in the coming month…!

I can’t explain the turmoil we were undergoing, when we went to your home in ‘Gwali’, Manawar. We tried to talk on every other topic while travelling, played songs and acted as if nothing was wrong…but andar hi andar mari padi thi sabki…Everyone was trying his best to control the tears, though it became impossible once we reached there… We met Uncle and everyone else…and we have ensured him that though he has lost his favorite kid, he still has his other children with him….Dekhna saale tere se jyada favorite ban jaunga mein jaldi hi…!!

Saale 3-4 din pehle to tu piche pada tha mere ki AIIMS me hone wale Creative writing contest me teri help karun…but I was busy with other submissions….Itna gussa ho gaya ki sidhe bhagwan k pass hi chala gaya help lene…..Ab aa bhi ja re….I promise mein khud likh kar dunga teko pura us contest k liye…!      Aur mene to suna tha ki god acche logon ko apne pass jaldi bula leta h….tu to itna bada haramkhor tha…fir teko kaise itni jaldi bula liya…!! Pakke se wahan ki ‘Apsaraein’ sambhal nahi rahi hongi god se…!

I wish that it’s just a dream and when I wake up, I would find you waiting for me on the bike for another round of our bakchodi…. If only this could happen….

People say that ‘Zendagi Migzara’…that is Life goes on…..Maybe they are true…maybe I would have to move ahead in life….but the void that’s now created in my life can never be filled again…. Even if I pretend to be normal from outside, only I know what havoc I’m undergoing….

Wo kehte h na, “Dil ka dard aansu bankar na nikle, Isliye sabke samne sada muskurata hun mein...”

Tu ab bilkul tension mat liyo….ab tere hisse k kaam bhi me karunga…. And I promise mein koi devdas sort ka banda nahi banunga….and jaisa mein hun vaisa hi khush rahunga…because I know that, somewhere, at someplace, you are looking at all of us….and tu hum logon ko khush hi dekhna chahega….

And I’m sure tub hi upar maze hi kar rha hoga….swarg me apsaraon k sath….but kamine wo ‘Urvashi’ teri bhabhi h….[Savita bhabhi nahi…!]..Uspe nazar mat daaliyo…warna me jab upar aaunga to teri khair nahi…! And ek bar mein upar aa gaya fir mil kar hisab karenge bhagwan se….and agar apan sath me ho jaen tab to fir swarg ko bhi narak me badal denge, ya narak ko swarg me…!!

Chal bahut paka liya h ab tere ko….I know tu articles, writings, novels etc nahi jhel sakta h…Khayal rakhiyo apna…!!

RIP Bhai……Mere farji doctor cum munnabhai…bahut yaad aaegi re teri….we all will always miss you…!!

And I would end this with our saying jo apan dono bolte the baat khatm hote time…..ab mein akela hi dono line bol deta hun…



P.S. You must have watched me giving you tribute in my own style….I know that was one step less than what you expected from me….but it was the lack of time and ‘place’….that’s why I gave the ‘Handsome’ tribute…

Sunday, August 19, 2012


 रविवार की सुबह जब स्वयं सूरज भी आलस का कंबल ओढ़े धीमी रफ़्तार से प्रकट होता है, ऐसे में इक्यावन वर्षीया मीनाक्षी का अधीरता के साथ ड्राईंग रूम में चहलकदमी करना कुछ अजीब प्रतीत हो रहा था.

वैसे मीनाक्षी भी अपनी जगह सही थी. वह जानती थी कि केवल रविवार की सुबह सारे घरवाले, अंजाने मे ही सही, पर आराम से थोड़ी देर साथ बैठते थे. - दिन से जो विचार उसके मन मे कुलबुला रहा था उसे घरवालों से साझा करने के लिए वो बेताब थी. जैसे ही चाए-नाश्ते का दौर शुरू हुआ तो मीनाक्षी ने झट से अपने बेटे से पूछा, "महेश तुम्हे याद है या नहीं कि मुझे कथक नृत्य कितना पसंद था. जब भी मौका मिलता मैं टी.वी. पर कथक देखने लगती थी और इस बात पर तुम्हारे पिताजी और मेरे बीच कितनी नोंक-झोंक हुआ करती थी.

महेश ने बिना अख़बार से नज़रें हटाएँ, एक 'हूँ' के साथ जवाब दिया. मीनाक्षी तो ऐसे जवाबों की आदी हो चुकी थी. बात बढ़ाते हुए मीनाक्षी ने कहा कि, 'मेरी कथक की जो शिक्षा बचपन में अधूरी रह गयी थी वह मैं अब पूरी करना चाहती हूँ. मैंनें अख़बार में एक कथक-अकॅडमी का इश्तेहार भी देखा था, जो हमारे घर से ज़्यादा दूर भी नही है.

अपनी बात बोलने के बाद वह उम्मीदों भरी निगाहों से घर वालों की और ताक रही थी. बदले में उसे ऐसी हैरत भरी निगाहों से देखा जा रहा था जैसे उसने स्विस-बैंक में जमा काला धन वापस लाने का फूलप्रूफ प्लान बताया हो..!

मीनाक्षी ने फिर अपने १५ साल के पोते से पूछा कि, "गुड्डू चला करेगा ना मेरे साथ अकॅडमी तक..? मैं तुझे रोज़ 'किसमी' खिलाया करूँगी....'  तभी गुड्डू तपाक से उनकी बात काटते हुए बोल पड़ा,"क्या दादी आप भी...आजकल तो 'डेरिमिल्क-सिल्क' का ज़माना है. मैं तो वैसे भी अपनी कोचिंग-क्लास में बिज़ी रहूँगा...हाँ अगर आप 'हिप-हॉप' सीखने जाती तो मैं कुछ सोचता भी...!

मीनाक्षी कुछ कह पाती इसके पहले ही उसकी बहू ने चाए का प्याला ज़ोर से टेबल पर पटकते हुए कहा,'क्या अम्मा,एक और फितूर सवार हो गया आपके दिमाग़ पर. कितनी दफे आपसे कहा है कि, दिन-रात जगजीत सिंह की ग़ज़ले ना सुना कीजिए. उमर हो गई है आपकी. यह काग़ज़ की कश्ती अब लहरों से जूझने लायक नही रह गई है...!!'

बहू की हाँ में हाँ मिलाते हुए, बेटा भी बोल पड़ा कि, सही तो बोल रही है वो. आप की उमर अब रामायण-गीता पढ़ने की है, कथक करने की नहीं. ज़रा तो सोचिए कि, आस-पड़ोस वाले क्या-क्या बातें बनाएँगे..!!

इसके साथ ही कमरे में सन्नाटा छा गया. रात को बाकी लोग तो जल्दी सो गये परंतु मीनाक्षी की आँखों से नींद कोसों दूर थी. आख़िरकार जब सब्र का बाँध टूटा तो वो फफक कर रो पड़ी.

कुशवाहा कांत की पंक्ति उसकी हालत को बयान कर रही थी-


 "एक हुक सी दिल में उठती है, एक दर्द सा दिल में होता है

    मैं चुपके-चुपके रोता हूँ, जब दुनिया सारी सोती है"

पूरा कालचक्र उसकी आँखों के सामने घूमने लगा. कैसे संसाधनों के अभाव में उसकी कथक की शिक्षा बीच में ही छूट गयी थी और बाद में कॉलेज में रिश्तेदारों के कारण रज़ामंदी नहीं मिल पाई थी. शादी के बाद तो नौकरी और बेटे की देखभाल मे तालमेल बिठाते-बिठाते खुद की पसंद-नापसंद के बारे में सोचना तो जैसे नामुमकिन ही था.

आज जब उसके पास संसाधनों एवं समय दोनों की भरमार है, तो क्या वह सिर्फ़ इसलिए अपने सपने पूरे नहीं करेगी क्योंकि पड़ोस के कुछ लोग ताने मारेंगे! क्या जीवन के इस मोड़ पर भी उसकी ज़िंदगी की स्टियरिंग दूसरों के हाथों में रहेगी..??

नहीं..!! हरगिज़ नहीं..!!! मीनाक्षी के मन से ज़ोरदार आवाज़ आई. जीवन की इस संध्या में वह अपने चाँद एवं तारें स्वयं ही चुनेगी. बचपन के जिस सावन में भीगने से वह वंचित रह गयी थी, उसकी फुहारें आज भी उसके मन के किसी कोने को भिगोती है. यह कश्ती आज भी बारिश के पानी में सफ़र करने के लिए लालायित है.

इसी दृढ़ निश्चय के साथ मीनाक्षी इंतज़ार करने लगी.........इंतज़ार एक नयी सुबह का...!